They say, in love, it is always give and receive. You give love, you receive love in return. Is it the same for people who indulge in sadomasochism?
What is Sadomasochism?
This term sadomasochism was derived from the combination of sadism and masochism. Sadism refers to the sexual pleasure derived from the infliction of pain and/or suffering to another person. The word sadism was derived from the name of the Marquis de Sade, a French philosopher and writer who wrote many o sexually violent plays, short stories and novels. Masochism, on the other hand, refers to the opposite of sadism. In this case, people get sexually gratified by receiving pain, or having suffering inflicted upon them. The term masochism was derived from the name of famous Austrian author Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, who was well known for his Venus in Fur which had a masochistic theme.
These two sexual perversions are often interrelated and collectively practiced as S&M or sadomasochism.
Pain is Pleasure. Pleasure is Pain.
As mentioned earlier, sadism and masochism refers to pain infliction as a pleasurable experience. In different degrees, the sensation of pain can heighten the pleasure, though each person’s pain tolerance is different. Sadomasochism is not to be considered an act of violence. It may appear to look that way, though. It is a consensual agreement between a person who is skilled at and derives pleasure at inflicting pain on another, and a person who receives it and gains sexual satisfaction from the sensation.
Sadomasochism, though mostly related to the sexual aspect, is not only about the sex. To some, pain can be more beneficial in a holistic aspect other than just sexual. Some people get a “high out of inflicting and receiving pain. Scientifically, this is because pain triggers the release of endorphins, which are chemical compounds that create an analgesic or pain relieving effect or a sense of well-being.
Safety and communication are two major factors to keep in mind in choosing to enter this lifestyle. Communication is important to establish what you both want out of the play. Your partners need to understand your limitations, your interests, your experiences, your pain threshold, and the extent of your pain tolerance. It is important to have a sit down with your prospective play partner to learn and understand who they are as well as establishing trust and rapport. It also makes the act more enjoyable. Safety is another important consideration in getting into this kind of lifestyle. If you are fairly new to this culture, jumping from one partner to another may lead to injury if neither of you are aware of each other’s limits and the appropriate way of going about the deed. It is best to start with an experienced partner who knows how to read and interpret body languages, knows when to stop, and the different methods in using different implements. You should be able to discuss what sensations you want to feel, what fantasies you’d like to act out, along with the things that you don’t want to do before even beginning the act. Negotiation and renegotiation in the middle of the act is not advisable. It is good, though, that you express feedback and establish connection between Top and Bottom person to ensure that both needs are met during the act.
Like it or not, sadomasochism is a big part of our society’s alternative lifestyle. It is important to understand the most basic fact that everybody is different and accept it. People may vary is sexual orientation and preferences, and it may not be acceptable to the general public, the most important thing to remember is that however diverse or taboo people’s choices are we must learn to respect them, just as we expect others to reciprocate an equal amount of respect for our own preferences.